What is Spoon Theory?

Spoon Theory is a way of describing the experience of living with a disability or a chronic illness. In her 2003 essay on butyoudontlooksick.com, Christine Miserandino coined Spoon Theory as a way to describe the impact of her Lupus to a friend she was having dinner with. When her friend asked her how Lupus affected her day-to-day, Christine searched the room for a device she could use to help her describe her experience in a way her friend would understand. Being in a diner, she grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on- spoons! 

Spending Spoons 

Spoon Theory is all about energy and the amount of energy it takes to live daily life as someone living with a disability or a chronic illness. Each spoon represents a separate unit of energy- this could be physical, mental or emotional energy. You start each day with a finite number of spoons. The amount of spoons (or energy) you have can fluctuate day by day. 

Every task you do throughout the day causes you to spend spoons. For example: getting out of bed = -1 spoon, brushing your teeth =  -1 spoon, eating your breakfast = -1 spoon, and so on. Some activities may require more energy, which could result in you spending more spoons. For example: going to work = -5 spoons, one hour of exercise = -3 spoons, going to the supermarket = -4 spoons. It is important to remember that the same task can use different numbers of spoons for different people.

The thing with spoons is that, once they are gone, they are gone. Some people may be able to 'replenish' a couple of spoons here and there, by taking time out of the day to rest, or have a nap. But for those who suffer with fatigue, it is much harder to gain those extra spoons back. If you 'overspend' on spoons, and use some of your surplus energy stores, you may find that when you wake up the following day, you have less spoons than you expected. 

A typically well, able-bodied person might have 40 spoons to spend in a day and still have plenty left over by the time they go to bed that night. However, if that same person became unwell with a cold, for example, they might wake up with only 20 spoons to spend. People who are chronically ill or disabled tend to start the day with less spoons than those who are able bodied. This can also vary based on different factors, i.e. how much pain they are feeling that day, if they are in a flare up, if they are in maintenance or remission, how much sleep they got that night, etc. 

How can I use Spoon Theory?

The theory is all about making conscious decisions about what is achievable for you during the day, and hopefully helping you to manage your time and energy (and sometimes other people's expectations) accordingly. Some people may find it helpful to always keep a spoon 'spare' for those one-off occasions that you can't predict, that may require your time and energy. This can be a tricky task though, as those everyday life obligations and just generally managing your own health day to day can cause you to burn through your spoons at lightening-speed! 

Using spoons to measure your personal energy stores may sound slightly far fetched from afar. However, since her original blog post, Christine Miserandino's Spoon Theory has provided a shared language to talk about experiences within disabled and chronically ill communities. Spoon Theory also helps us to communicate with our partners, children, parents, friends and colleagues. Saying "I don't have many spoons today", is an easy way to communicate what kind of day you're having, without having to use spoons to go into the ins and outs of why. This can be particularly helpful if you experience both 'good' and 'bad' days with your condition. Those communities who do use Spoon Theory typically call themselves #Spoonies.

Difficult Decisions 

At times you may have to make difficult decisions about when and how you use your spoons. You may find that you are turning things down, such as going out with friends or out for a meal with your partner. Or perhaps you aren't able to make the bed in the morning, or you leave the washing up in the sink that night because you simply do not the have the spoons to do it. Finding you are having to say 'no' more often can cause a lot of internalised shame, because of societal norms that leave us feeling that we have to live up to the expectations of a more 'ableist' society. But it is important to remember that pacing yourself and treating yourself kindly is nothing to be ashamed of. You are not 'lazy' if you can't do everything you set out to during the day. You are not 'unreliable' if you have to cancel plans. You just don't have any spoons left in your back pocket that day- and that's okay. 

Sources

Christine Miserandino But You Dont Look Sick?

Michelle Pugle, Very Well Health What Is Spoon Theory